Thursday, January 14, 2016


So I am venturing into the world of daily vlogging.
I enjoy watching vlogs so much and, given my background, I thought this would be a good hobby to try and keep me 'familiar' with my tools... As well as documenting our lives - I find that with mommy brain now I have a hard time remembering anything, and I just want to capture things the way they are now, before it's all just blurry memories. My baby is 11 months old, almost, already, I am way too sleep deprive to really live in the present as much as I would like to, so I think this will help.

For now it's really just us hanging out in my messy house mostly, but I plan to make it more 'exciting' eventually - you know, get better with some practice! I just want to get in the habit of accomplishing the tasks daily, and then once that ball is rolling, I will kick it up a notch :)
Thought you might be interested here (also I have no views yet, lol) It would mean the world if you would go and view one of the days that are on the channel, it would definitely encourage me to keep going. Thank you so much!! :)

Here's a link to the channel, pick and chose whichever day you want to watch! :)

And here's a random day:

Hope you are all doing well!! I should come back here and update you guys a bit when I have a bit more brain power and time... it's been too long! :)

Monday, October 6, 2014


Or lack thereof.

My current contract finishes two Fridays from now. I need to find some work and I am very worried that I won't find much and will end up with a big gap in our finances. I am currently 20 weeks pregnant, so anything long term would be awesome, that way I could return after mat leave, but no one wants to hire someone for a long term position when they know that the person will be away for a year, starting in 4-5 months.

Looking for short term stuff is also a possibility, but there isn't much available at the moment. And finding something that will match 4-5 months in duration and that would start two Mondays from now, also a challenge.

I need to continue on to work before the baby comes because A I can't afford not to work until then, B my EI runs out soon and I don't know how things will work for me starting a new EI claim months before having to file a mat leave claim (honestly it is extremely unlikely that I could be awarded both.)

I can't believe I'm stuck in this situation again, but this time halfway into a pregnancy that so far is somewhat painful and uncomfortable.

I need to find work that is not too physical for that reason, too. Which narrows down what I can do. I am specialized in what I do, but then once no work is available at a certain time, I am pretty much useless in any other category of work (to potential employers that is - however I am convinced if the right company could see my potential I could do a lot for them, if only they would try me even if I have no related experience...or if I appear too experienced in another field...)

Man this is a tough time... :(

I have to keep positive though, lift up my sleeves and apply everywhere!

Wish me luck! :)

Friday, September 12, 2014


So.... I am now 16 weeks and 4 days pregnant with my second child. Yup! I have finally been successful at conceiving a baby in the right place :)

My son will have a sibling.

And when the baby is born, I will officially be done making babies. Oh yes, I will. There are too many things that can go wrong, and a lot of time of discomfort/sickness, and honestly, I can't afford more kids than 2 :)

This pregnancy, I was hoping to avoid nausea medication, and at first it felt like I might be able to, but a week later than my pregnancy with L, I needed it. And I'm glad I got it.

As for many ladies who are pregnant for the second time, I am showing a lot more than I was last time - I think. However, I am gaining a bit less weight this time around, so far (not counting that I was already 6 lbs heavier this time around to begin with).

With a big deadline of mat leave start ahead of me, I had to do something about my work situation. I just couldn't afford to wait for full time hours from my current temporary employer (I was getting a say a week of work at most) and the physical nature of that job would soon be too much for my pregnant body (being on my feet fr 8 hours straight, 5-6 of which I was outside doing what would be the equivalent of a mix of stair-masters and brisk walking in extremely hot summer temperature, with no access to a washroom or a place to have lunch... very far from ideal...) So when a former colleague called me for a 12 week job in my old industry, even if it was a 4 hour commute away a day, I accepted. The bonus was that I might get another contract afterwards and hopefully, I might eventually work there up to the birth and get enough hours to go on mat leave!  If I dare to dream, I might even get something to return to after mat leave, but I need to play my cards extremely well. This is reality when you are a contractor...

So I am back to working in a dark office, and today I have a great reason why this is ideal, my pelvis would NOT be able to do the physical work anymore. When I gave birth to L, I did something to my pelvic bones that left me barely able to walk for 2 weeks, and that hurt for a good 6 months, with a few spread apart days of soreness up to 2 years later. I was a new mom at that time, with lots of worries other than taking care of that pain I had in my pelvis. So I just didn't do anything about it. But for the most part, at its worst stage, it felt like my body would split from the middle if I walked with a gait that was a little too wide. Like I was missing a piece in the front and middle (pubic bone) that would be holding things together. It was very painful to roll over in bed... It just felt like things were not solid anymore, weak and unstable.

Well, this time around, when 15 weeks came, I started feeling the pain again. If I change my posture and move my weight from one leg to the other, I feel (almost hear) the two sides of my pelvis grinding, rubbing together... At 16 weeks now, I am having a lot of pain walking, and my commute includes 40 minutes of walking! :(

I googled things and this is what I think I have Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. It's the cartilage/ligaments that join the two part of your pelvis together, with relaxin (the pregnancy hormone that loosens things up so you can 'have space' to give birth) things loosen up and the joints move more, causing pain.

All I have to say is: if you are having similar pains after giving birth, don't just accept the pain and do nothing, talk to your doctor about it, and tell them you think that's what you might be having - a lot of them dismiss it and don't pursue 'fixing' the problem... If that doctor doesn't help find one who will.

That's about it for now. What I need to work on in the next few weeks is finding out if my contract gets extended and if not - look for more work (not easy when you are visibly pregnant, ugh.)

I hope you are all doing well. Anyone have a contractor work and pregnancy story to share? Have you ever had to look for work while you were pregnant? Let me know in the comments! :)

Monday, June 16, 2014

Trying this blog design for size.

I'm thinking of a different background - I'm not sure these colors work with my header - it was the one that seemed to clash the least of the ones... I might try another one and change the colors of my header - I am not very good with colors, ay ay ay...

Not 100% sure about the header either - don't know if I like 'my face' that much :) sigh...

Tell me what you think in the comments :)

Thursday, June 12, 2014


This is the time I thought of baking chicken, then looked up a recipe, followed it, and ended up with a meal I was proud of for my family!

(this pictures the chicken I made, some BBQ chicken that S had made, some plain brown rice and some broccoli.)

Super easy and yummy recipe found on All Recipes - Baked Honey Mustard Chicken, by Mary Bane.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014


How do you guys feel about the design of this blog?

I'm starting to feel like changing this up a bit.

I personally find that I am more drawn to read blogs when the colors of the design are lighter. You?

How do you like the design of cinemarie in english? free polls 

Wednesday, May 28, 2014


Yesterday, my boy spontaneously chose to view an episode of the program pictured below. I was so happy to see how much enjoyment he was getting out of it, he even participated in the little 'exercises' that the characters were inviting him to do. I was so proud.

There is a lot of 'special' DVDs on our shelves that I do not push for him to watch, because I want to get his genuine interest, and 'feedback', when he chooses to see it.

I do tell him that 'maman worked on this one!' - even though I don't think it means much to him at this point.

The particular one he chose to watch yesterday I was curious to see him react to - because he should be very familiar with the voices of the characters on the show - these are the voices he has heard the most when he was in my belly - he would have heard close to 40-60+ hours a week's worth of these shows in the womb - my last show before mat. leave :)

Full circle.

I miss my old job sometimes... often times...

Tuesday, May 27, 2014


This is the conclusion of my ectopic pregnancy story. This is a long read and may be TMI for you. You've been warned ;)

part 3
part 2
part 1 

First of all - I need to share a video that has helped me tremendously throughout my ectopic pregnancy. This video is the reason why I am sharing my story - I needed to read/see other stories to keep me sane, to see that I was not alone, to see what others were experiencing. This woman does such an awesome job of telling her ectopic pregnancy story, I kept viewing it over and over as my story progressed, what I went through symptom-wise was very similar. Everything is so well put and organized, if you found my story because you are going through the same, I highly encourage you to view this video - Kelsey kept me positive, hopeful, and sane! Thank you so much Kelsey, you've helped me more than you will ever know!!

And she has great vlogs and TTC vlogs, etc. - she seems so nice! I couldn't stop keeping up to date with her and her family afterwards :)

ok, back to the final part of my story.

After getting the shot, the doctor asked me to follow up in a week with blood work. He said that typically the HCG levels keep rising at first before they go down, so it would be useless to get more bloodwork done right away. If the levels were not dropping, I would have to get another injection.

I got a call from him personally when he got the results because my levels went from 16632 the day before the injection to 20715, a week later. He said he was on call that day so I would have to go to the hospital and tell triage to page him when I got there so that he could meet me and give me an injection.

If you have read my story so far, you know where this is going:

I got sent to get another IV, just in case. 

''But I thought I was just meeting with my doctor to get a sh... ah forget it!"

They take some blood, and leave the IV in. The nurse I got was the absolute worse for putting an IV - and I'm sorry to be saying that because I have great respect for nurses, my sister is one - but it hurt like hell and no blood would come out, so she pulled it out and pushed it in over and over, and had me pump my fist over and over to get enough blood out - it took about 5 minutes of pumping to get 2 cms of blood in the little tube - I'm sure every body in the waiting room was ready to barf seeing this happening :)

I saw a new set of doctors, and they asked me for the whole story again, as if I had not been to the hospital before... I repeat everything, and they leave...

After a few hours of waiting, I finally see one of the first resident doctors I saw on my first hospital visit, my favorite one! She was so nice, she took the time to chat with me and see how I was doing. She said it was silly that I got an IV put in, but that for the hospital it was a safety measure because of how 'ectopic-pregnancy' might mean 'emergency-surgery'...  She also said to me something that I will always remember about my ectopic story:

"I just want to open you up and look in there and see what's going on! Normally at 20000 HCG you see a giant ectopic with a heart beat and it's all very clear what's happening, but with you, it's a mystery!"

So she said I would get another injection soon, it was just a matter of waiting for the meds to come in after she order them. And that it was nice to meet me and to have a nice life...


I wasn't expecting to see her again, but here she was with a little post it note: "Did you get the injection yet?"


"The blood work they did shows that your HCG levels are now down to 12957!!! If you want you can skip the second injection!"

OMG!!! Now I didn't feel so bad about the useless IV/bloodwork :) Even if this was the aftermath:

After that point, I went to get blood work done every Wednesday. Most of the googling I had done showed stories of people who had the shot at less than 5000 HCG levels, so I was wondering how long it would take me to go all the way down to zero considering I was starting from 20000+!

here's how it went down from the highest HCG level results:

08/21:    20715
08/23:    12957
08/28:      8820
09/04:      3536
09/12:      1172
09/18:        887
09/25:        386
10/02:        225
10/08:        126
10/16:          52
10/23:          25
10/30:         >5

So all in all - it took from August 14th to October 30th (2.5 months) for it to resolve and for me to not be pregnant anymore. Two and a half months of worrying that I might bleed internally, worrying about every little twinge in my shoulder, every little pang in my belly... Did I mention that I was working 60 kms away from home at the time, walking outside 3+ hours a day in crazy summer heat, and loading and unloading hundreds of heavy boxes in and out of my work truck? yeah...

At first I felt weak, a lot of nausea, a feeling like chemicals were poisoning my body... But gradually I started to feel better and better.

Now, we're trying again. But I'm still spotting mid-cycles, having pain on the side of the ectopic every other month... I got checked, complete blood work done, ultra sound shows normal things down there... The doctors said just 'leave it be' and if I'm having no luck at becoming pregnant for a year, then they will see what we should do next.

Until then, I'm trying not to worry that this could happen again. I take home pregnancy tests all the time to be safe. I am tracking everything on my calendar. If I become pregnant again, I will be able to have all this accurate info to go back to. Essentially, the moment I get a positive test I am to call my doctor and get tests done and follow ups right away, just because of my history now.

I struggle with the fact that it feels like I can't trust my body anymore. I felt invincible before. But now, I know that I need to take care of my body, I can't take health for granted, if I let it down, it will let me down! Not that I necessarily did this to myself - it happens randomly sometimes. But it still had me thinking how much I need to value that I have my health.

Health is important - life is important!

Time will tell if we will be successful at having another baby. I'll keep you posted :)

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