Dropping the ball - and not just in NYC! :)

Hi there!

I just thought I would check in and say hi - boy have I 'dropped the ball' on my blogs recently - and my health as well... I need to find my focus again... I am positive that I will find it...

I have gained a lot of weight recently - funny how it comes back on so quick! as of the last time I weighted myself - I read 157lbs... phew! The positive in all this is I am really observing what I do when I eat my way into gaining weight, and I work towards understanding what's going on and how to adjust... I pay attention to how I eat and how I feel... Most often I have the alarm in my head that goes 'watch out, this is expensive in points, avoid it or have very little...' followed by 'oh I'll have just a little' and then 'this is so good I want mooooore'. And then I usually end up eating the remainder of the box.

I find my over eating often comes in the form of boredom/treat eating, or un-prepared eating... that's my weak spot. I have to PLAN PLAN PLAN! I really struggle with that. As for boredom/treat eating, I need to find something to do instead of eating. Or at least, prepare something healthy to snack on - cut up bell peppers or something... But ideally, something that involves moving around would be best!

For 2010, I want to work on planning my meals and making exercise a better part of my routine.

I also have to think hard about my work as my contract/project ends in about 6 months... I am always debating about continuing to work hard at it and keep working in my field, or just plain changing careers...

I often remember the words of Larry David (co-creator of Seinfeld) when I think of my work, he said that when the show started he had trouble writing it, that writing it felt like an impossible amount of work. When the show got picked up and he was asked to write 22 episodes he thought - there is NO WAY I can write any more of these - it's impossible, it's way too difficult, way too stressful! Yet, he went on to write several seasons.

I often feel that way about my work - like there is no way I can survive working through X amount of episodes. But I always end up somehow finishing it... which is just so unbelievable to me. Anyways, it's very stressful and at the very least, if I continue to work in my industry, I need to find a better way to deal with that stress. Because it is far from being healthy... I can say though that I have done a lot of progress in that realm this year - I started off the year with physical signs of being stress non-stop, and ended up the year far more relaxed about the whole thing, mostly through internal dialog in the lines of 'calm down, do what you can, one thing at a time' I tried to stop the 'panic' before it happened by making sure I 'decided' to keep positive about difficult situations, taking on the many challenges while trying to stay calm.

Biggest thing I realized was - you are the one who decides how you react to things with 'panic' and there is no need for that. It's not the people around you who are making this stressful, it's you. Keep positive. One thing at a time. Easy does it. Breathe in, Breathe out...

I am not saying this quite the way I would like to - but hopefully it makes sense...

ok, I better start some work around the house now!

Have a happy new year guys!!

HAPPY 2010!!!!!!!!!