Procrastination.

I am currently losing many days of potential great accomplishments to procrastination.

I have a hoarding problem, and a procrastination problem - that does not mix well. I have a giant mess of clutter around me, all the time.

Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by the many random tasks I want to accomplish that I just... well I just don't do anything.

I need to simplify my life big time. I have pile after pile after pile of things everywhere in the house, and it feels the same way in my head, like I have clutter in my brain. I need to bring order to it.

I remember all the articles I used to read about losing weight and many recommended to make small goals, because you are more likely to accomplish them. Well, I need to just take some time every day and just sort through my piles. That's what I think my small goal should be, go through it just a little bit, but every day.

The other thing that overwhelms me these days is food for my family. We are currently pretty tight with money, so when comes time to plan for groceries for the week, we just plan for one big quantity of one meal for the week nights and buy the minimum to make that meal, with a few snacks here and there. I need to find a way to improve that - it's not all bad, but the problem comes when we run out early, or on the weekend where we have nothing planned. But mostly, bringing a bit of variety would be good, especially for our boy who sometimes really dislikes eating the same food a few times in a row...

I subscribed to the free version of Cook Smarts and I got 3 free meal plans to choose from and test out. I like the idea that she gives you a prep day option, where you can prep all the ingredients ahead of time... It's a good idea, I need to figure out how to get everybody on board, but mostly I need to figure out if it's possible for us financially...

What do you do when you get overwhelmed? Are you a hoarder and a procrastinator? How do you 'snap out of it'? Tell me about it in a comment :)

Stress.

Whaaaaa?

2 days ago we briefly used the A/C - the temperature was 27 degrees Celsius in the house. Yesterday, the weather network said that it was 22, and that with the humidity it felt like 26.

Today?

It's currently 0 degrees and it's SNOWING!

And of course, I got a call to go work this afternoon... I have said no a few times in the last few weeks so I felt like I should say yes.

As soon as I did though, my stress levels went way up - I can almost feel the cortisol fill my body! I said yes to a schedule that is less than ideal, my scheduled finish time is the same as when I absolutely must leave to pick up my son at daycare to avoid picking him up late and pay late fees. I am more worried about him being the last one to get picked up though, than paying late fees...

So if everything works out perfectly then I will be on time to pick him up, but most of the time, with the work that I do, especially replacing someone and doing tasks that I am not familiar with, it is destined to fail and go long. And of course I'll be walking outside in the snow, so I'll have to slow down... I'm going to be racing all day. This is my 3rd week off, so I haven't walked in over 2 weeks now! Sigh.

The positive side is I got to eat at home first. And I'm at least going to a location I am familiar with (and I am familiar with the route to daycare from there). And I get 4 hours worth of money. And the person who's in charge of calling relief staff will not hate me for saying no, yet again.

But... gulp. it's going to be a tough day.

Wish me luck! :)

Do you ever accept work simply to avoid feeling guilty? What is your work situation like? Let me know in a comment! :)

Sugar.

Besides the general feeling of 'unwell-ness' I've mentioned in my previous post, I've recently become increasingly concerned with another aspect of my health: aging.

After having a child, I have turned the attention I used to give to my body to my child's well being. I'm sure that's something many new moms do. It might sound self centered but, I used to 'keep an eye on things' often prior to having my boy. These days, because I can spend days without looking into a mirror, I am often surprised by what I see, if that makes any sense...

I seem to have aged rather quickly recently : my hair is increasingly grey, my skin feels looser and my face, oh my face... well, it's full of freckles and very wrinkly!

At first, I thought all of this might have been related to my body bouncing back from being pregnant, but now I realize I really have been neglecting things in the following ways:

1. I've been working outside - my new job has me walk between 4-5 hours outside in all kinds of conditions - but I've only put on sunscreen at best half of the time. tsk tsk tsk.

2. This year my stress levels have peaked higher than they ever have. Not good.

3. My diet has consisted of a TON of sugar. and I've only learned recently that sugar can cause wrinkles! Oh my,  I'm in trouble!!

Here's a few links about the subject:

from Livestrong

from a blog I just discovered randomly, called ''I Quit Sugar''.


I need to commit to a better diet - and more than ever I need to find another job! I'm loving being at home these days, working on my computer, like before. I need to reduce my stress, sun exposure, and up the healthy diet. But what can I say, I also need to pay the bills...

I'm really tempted by the I Quit Sugar program, but I have no money for it now, nor will I get participation from the family on that one.

I've also been tempted by the 'Cook Smarts' program that Kath talks about...

Have you ever started a food program/diet that included a change for the whole family? How did you incorporate everybody in the change and/or did you end up having to separate meals for everybody? Tell me in a comment! :)

Ok.

So...
How did I use to do this again? hmmm...

Healthy living has suddenly become interesting to me again recently when, after a few years of just not paying attention, I became ill.

I knew something was wrong after I had an ectopic pregnancy last August. In case you are not familiar, an ectopic pregnancy is one that grows in the wrong place, outside of the uterus, most commonly in the fallopian tube. It is not viable and it is very dangerous for the mother, life threatening even, because you can end up bleeding internally from a ruptured tube.

Maybe I should give you a bit of a description of how this thing happened to me, and I will do that, but in another post.

I ended up having to end the pregnancy with a Methotrexate shot.

I felt like my body had betrayed me, I did not trust it anymore. I felt weak (literally, I think it had to do with the shot) I had lots of nausea, my breasts were still sore from being pregnant, etc. After the shot I had to take weekly blood tests to check that the HCG numbers kept going down (pregnancy hormone). It took a good 3 months. The whole 3 months I feared for my life, as I was working a very physical job, 60kms away from home.

I started worrying about everything, imagining that my body had this slow poison invading it. I pushed off getting checked up despite having crazy irregular cycles for 3 months. Had an ultrasound that revealed everything was normal down there. Pushed off going to my family doctor for almost another 3 months to get blood tests done and see what else could be wrong.

I went last week, finally, and got my results: everything is normal, except for my iron levels. They are a little low and I was asked to take a supplement.

OH MY GOODNESS!

The only thing that was wrong with me was that I wasn't taking care of myself anymore. I wasn't living a balanced life, a healthy life.

I gave my body no nutrients whatsoever - for instance, my lunch at work has consisted of 3 Fibre 1 granola bars for the past year and a half or so (it's not a good reason, but keep in mind I walk outside all day so it has to be portable/no heat/no refrigeration etc.) I started 'boredom' eating again, my favorite snack? a chocolate bar... or two... My drink of choice? Coca Cola.

Yeah, sure. I walk all day and get quite a work out. But I am not nourishing my body. I am not watching my health at all.

I currently weigh 154lbs. If you have followed me in the past, you know that this is only 4 lbs higher than the lowest I have been.

But I am nowhere near as healthy as when I was this weight last time.

Duh - have I not learned anything?

Apparently, I need to start from scratch. This time though, I don't care about my weight, I care about my health.

I've started looking up health and nutrition information websites again.

I've also started to look for work again - what I do right now is too taxing on my body and really has no future (it also leaves me with no income a third to half of each year). It's just not what I love to do. I have learned that about myself recently. I need to be challenged creatively. That being said, I can't go back to the old jobs I used to do, my reality has changed now with my son, and where we now live. I need to create my own source of income. I need to get out of my shell and create the opportunities.

I need to be healthy again, and in many ways - not just what I eat. I remember the days when I blogged about my weight loss. I wasn't just losing weight successfully, I was also practicing my brain, exercising my writing in English (not my first language!) and exercising my social skills (I basically have none.) I need to nourish my mind too!

So I want to do this blogging thing again. Anybody still here? :)

Have you ever made yourself sick just by having a negative mindset? What did you do to turn it around? Leave me a comment and let me know :)

in the meantime, here's a few pictures of my boy, he is now 3 years and 7 months old.